My Lovers Dead
by HighKillerHK
Summary: GraviYnM xover! Shuchan comits suicide after deciding that Yuki does not love him. He becomes a shinigami and later finds out the Yuki could not die even when he comits suicide. What is going on? MPreg
1. Chapter 1

My Lovers Dead.

By: HK LOVES DENY

Disclaimer: I do not own… the normal thing…

Warning: Suicide and also xover with YnM…

Rating: M

Summary: Shuichi has committed Suicide. How dose Yuki take it? And yes I know this summary sucks but I'm going through a hard time right now and I'm very depressed and this is the best way to get me out of this suicidal state…

Genre: A lot of angst! Also this is a dark fic.

I hope you Enjoy this extremely Angst ficlet of mine.

Yuki was typing away at his computer when he heard the front door to his and Shuichi's apartment open and close gently. Thinking that it must be Tohma or Mikia and he hoped it wasn't his brother Tastsua. Deciding that the task at hand was more important he continued on.

After about an hour he thought that whoever it was must have left. Looking at the time he saw it was 21:49 in the evening and he began to wonder why his lover wasn't home yet. Deciding to finish at least one more page before going to go look for him.

But while in the living room, Shuichi sat on the couch looking at the knife he held in his hands. 'Yuki doesn't love me. I know that, but… it hurts so much being used as a toy. I thought that I could live with just being a sex-toy…but…it hurts so much.'

With the last thought he brought the cold steel of the blade down to his wrist and quickly slit it.

The cut was deep, very dangerously deep. He watched as his blood fell to the floor mixing with his tears that he was now shedding. Creating a mess on the floor. 'Yuki's going to get mad at me for making this mess.' He thought as his mind slowly began to fuzz out. Quickly, with a shakily hand he cut his other wrist. Wincing some at the pain, but smiled none the less.

He looked over at the goodbye note he left to Yuki and his friends.

Dear Yuki and friends,

I know what you all must be thinking. "Why did you kill yourself Shuichi?" there is a simple answer, and here it is.

I love you so much Yuki, but I can not live as a sex toy. Well that's not entirely true. I could have if only you loved me like I do you. But I couldn't bring up the courage to just leave you. I love you too much to do anything.

So Yuki I'll say this one last time for it will be my last and I won't ever bother you again.

I love you Yuki and all of you. But I just can't live like this anymore.

Goodbye,

Shiuchi Shindou.

Soon his mind blacked out and he fell to the now blood covered floor.

Eiri Yuki was just about to save his work when a thud snapped his head up. Worried that he is being robbed by some lunatic, he quietly walked down the hall that lead to the living room. But what he saw was neither a lunatic or a robber. What he saw was the cold lifeless body of his lovers.

"Shu..Shui..chi" His heart sank while he quickly grabbed the boys body and held it in his arms.

"SHUICHI! SHUICHI!" he began pressing his figure to Shuichi's neck looking for any sign of life. He felt nothing, not even a faint heartbeat.

He saw the knife lying just across from them and realized that this was suicide. Tears slowly welled up in his eyes and fell down into the puddle of blood and tears that will forever stain that once beautiful carpet.

He saw the note but knowing Shuichi he knew the reason for him doing this.

"Shuichi…even though you know I don't say it…I do love you too…" he cried over the now soulless body.

"Aniki! Me and Ryuichi have come to cheer you al…" Tastua stopped in mid sentence upon seeing the site before him. "Aniki what happened to Shuichi?"

And for the first time in any of there lives, Ryuichi fell to his knees and cried into his hands. His Kumaguro lying down beside him as he cried.

"Shu-chan! Why did you have to die!" Ryuichi screamed as he ran out the door nearly knocking Hiro over.

"Hey what's wrong with him?" He walked in and saw what all the fuss was about. Quickly he ran to his long-time friends' side, and yelled his name a few times. But when no response came, he allowed the tears to fall.

Everyone is devastated by the death of our beloved Shuichi Shindou. But something else is happening in the Ministry of Hades.

"Huh? Where am I?" our young Shuichi Shindou asked no one in particular. But jumped when a tap on his shoulder signaled that he was not alone.

"Umm You must be Shuichi Shindou." Shuichi looked up to the brunette and nodded. "Well then I have one thing to ask you…. Can I have your autograph!"

Suddenly a much smaller sandy blonde boy whacked him in the head. "Baka! We are not here for his Autograph! We are here to retrieve him!"

"But Soka'!"

"No 'buts' now lets just go, Tatsumi is waiting for us to return." Shuichi stared at them with some amusement. But wondered why he wasn't in hell.

The taller of the two grabbed his hand suddenly they were all in a small office facing another brunette with rectangular glasses on.

"Well here he is Tatsumi! Now I have some unfinished business to do in my work office with Hisoka." He grabbed the boy's sleeve making sure not to give him direct contact with his skin.

"Tsuzuki! None of that here!" but they were already down the hall too far for them to hear him.

"Umm excuse me but…where am I?" The pink haired boy asked.

Deep blue eyes met purple. Taking a deep breath he spoke. "You are in the Meifu, but this place is known as the Ministry of Hades or the Judgment Bureau." He looked at the small boys face. "You are no longer alive… you are going to be tested to become a Shinigami…"

: OWARI :

TBC…..

Well how was it? Oh and this is just the first chappie too…. I hope I did good in it… more will come soon too….LOL


	2. not update sorry!

**Not an update but it seems alot of people are flaming me about this story!**

**I mentioned in the summary Shuichi comits suicide. Well if you do not like it then you have no reason to read in the first place. It will all work out later on in the story. And also as a side note. Alot of people do not know how the brain of a depressed/raped person thinks. but after a while of thinking they do try or think about suicide. **

**My reasoning for knowing this is because i have known people(s) who think like that. They help me out alot of my Suicidal stories and i thank them. **

**Thats all for now! And i will delete this when the next chappie is up!**

**Kittykitty says hi!**


	3. 00 oh my!

**My Lovers Dead**

By: HK LOVES DENY

Disclaimer: Same

Rating: Same

Warnings: Same

Summary: Same as always! But I'm going to add some MPreg in this so the plot will develop more ;

"Shuichi Shindo, you are going to be tested to become a Shinigami or Guardian of Death." Tatsumi said in his stern yet i'm-dead-serious look. "Watari will escort you to our testing chambers (1) to see if you are good enough."

Watari pouted as he walked in, "Seii-kun couldn't Tsuzuki-san have taken him I was rather busy working on an experiment." Tatsumi glared and the blonde cave in, "Oh fine, But you owe me Seii-kun." He winked causeing the brunette to blush.

Confused, Shuichi looked at the blonde and back to the brunette figureing they was lovers was an understatement. So he decided not to ask. But before he could do anything he was suddenly in this big room in front of of guys in black robes.

((I'm lazy and a bit asleep at the moment and I"m just gonna leave it to you're imagination on how they test you.))

After five agonizing hours of testing, Shuichi walked out holding a folder he was instructed to give to Tatsumi. Oh how he was glad to have already met the guy.

He strolled down the hallways twards the secretarys' office. Deep purple eyes sadened at the thought of who he left behind. He was missing his friends, family, Yuki NO! He wouldn't think about him, not now. He was going to make the best of his after life even if it killed him...again.

When he arrived at the secrataries office, he could hear yelling coming from inside. Curious he placed his ear on the door.

"SEII! Don't! Please, I can't afford to lose you again." He heard a man yell.

"Taka, i have to the Cheif is not able to take this mission so I have to weather you like it or not." Another voice replied calmly. "Besides I'd rather not go myself, I would prefer to stay here with you when the results return." Worry then began to strain the voice.

"Seii please, I lost you once before and I can't handle losing you agian. Your all I have left." A few choked sobs escaped him.

"Shh Taka its okay I promise I will return and when i get back you can tell me the results will be positive and we will go on the biggest shopping trip you ever had okay." Now the sobs seemed to be stiffled Shuichi could feel his heart drop. Yuki would never hold him or say sweet nothings to him. He moved from the door and noticed a small box on the door and placed the folder in it. Then left just as the door opened.

TBC!

Yes i know its short but i needed to update and I'm busy moving (again) and dealing with school and crap --' But i will try and update as much as possible. 10th grade sucks --'

HK over and out! xDD


	4. yuki agnst

**My Lovers Dead**

By: HK LOVES DENY

Warnings: Same

Disclaimer: Same

Chapter Summary: Yuki's side of the story now!!! 333

My Ramblings: Okay I really needed to update so most of my updates will probably be small 0o; But Do not worry My faithful fans! (If there are any left 0o; ) I have not and will not discontinue any of my stories! Although I am thinking about deleting some of my stories since they like died 0o; Anyway On with the story!

The funeral was held only a few days after Shuichi died. Hiro blamed Yuki for his death, Ryuichi blamed him, Mika wouldn't look at him in the eyes anymore, his father thought it was a blessing that he died. But Yuki didn't care. He cared about nothing anymore, his lover died because of him. Him. Eiri Yuki the greatest romance novelest in all of Japan!

The press heard nothing about the note or that it was suicide. They were simply told he died from some illness.

The blonde kneeled in front of his dead lovers grave placing flowers over the tombstone. He decided he was going to go into seclusion and not worry about anyone anymore. He knew he couldn't love, or even be stable, if he got another lover. Of course his fans had sent him sympathy cards and letters. He simply disposed of them, Knowing, without even glaceing in them, what they said.

He blinked blankly at the inscrptions written on the tombstone.

_'You will always be with us in our hearts, We love you Shuichi'_

Those words were very true, Yuki make a weak smile remembering the look on Shuichi's face when Yuki had bought him a locket with their pictures in it. His face lit up with joy, it was as though he had never recived anything in his life and had for the first time. He looked utterly beautiful.

A small tear flowed down his cheek, he missed the brat more than anyone would ever know. He now thinks that it is all a dream, and he will wake up and Shuichi will be asleep on the couch sprawled out like normal. But reality was never so nice. Morning would come and he'd be alone in his apartment.

"Why did you leave?" More tearns rolled down his cheeks. His face held no sign of emotion but his eyes told all. "Shuichi, if I could I'd be different, I'd treat you like a human being and given you the love you deserved to have from a lover." A couple of his tears dropped onto the flowers he set down. "I'm sorry."

Reaching into his coat pocket he brought out the knife Shuichi had used. It still had the boys blood stain on it, as did the carpet. He looked at his wrists which now held marks of many attempts to take his own life. He couldn't understand why he could not die. He thought God was just trying to make him suffer more.

A crackeling nosie thundered throughout the sky as Yuki stayed kneeling on Shuichis grave, giving no mind the the now pouring rain.

Bringing that same blade to his wrist he slit it deeper than he had the other times, and watched as the blood dripped onto his grave, creating a small pudddle mixing with the rain. Quickly he slit his other wrist and laid down on the grave, waiting for death to finally take him.

His breathing began to slow down some then speed up and the blood flowed out of his body. The rain poured down more as Eiri closed his eyes when a slightly numbing feeling overtook his mind.

Was this finally it? Was he finally going to die?

The world went black as he laid there motionless.

"Yuki..." He cracked his eyes slightly seeing a figure standing over him. "Yuki... I love you..." He concentrated on the figure more and saw it was Shuichi!

"Shu...ichi... What..." A fingure was placed over his lips.

"Shh just relax and sleep. When I get back from work I'll call the doctor if your still not feeling good okay." He felt a small kiss over his forehead and a door shut.

With a gasp he woke up staring at the nights sky. He cursed again finally realizing it was a dream yet again. The cuts sealed shut and no more blood flowed from them.

Shakely he got up and walked to his car he parked on the other side of the Cemetary. He got in and drove off to a cabin he knew no one would bother him with their pity, and sorrys. A place where he may finally see Shuichi again... In Death.

Phew -.-; I wrote this while half asleep (School is tomorrow x.x ) It;s now 12:01 p.m. and I'm going to sleep now. If I get enought ime throughout the weekend I'll write more for this and my other stories So don't lose hope!

HK


	5. reunite

**My Lovers Dead**

By: HK LOVES DENY

Warnings: Same

Rating: Same

Disclaimer: Oh ow I wish I owned both of these wonderful anime/mangas. ;;starey eyes;;

Chapter Summary: It has been a few weeks and Shuichi has finally gotten the hang of being a Shinigami. But what happens when he recives a mission to investigate YUKI?!

"Ano... Shu-chan!" Watari waved his hand to the young boy as he walked into the breifing room. "Hey, how you feeling? Oh! Seii wanted me to tell you that if you need help on any mission then just ask us okay." On cue Tatsumi appeared behind his lover.

"Us, meaning Tsuzuki, Hisoka, and I. You are not going to go out and fight off demons and lose our child." Ever since Tatsumi heard that his lover was pregnant, due to a few chemical mis-haps in the lab, he has been over protective of Watari.

"But Seii! It's so boreing around here!" Watari whined to his lover. "Can't I just go on a small investigation?" He looked into to his lovers eyes and pouted, giving him puppy dog eyes. "Pwease Seii-kun..."

"...No..." Tatsumi looked away. "And you know I hate it when you do that." Watari ammited defeat, and walked to his seat.

"Anyway, today we have a few to many missions, so if you could we need you to investigate one for us Tsuzuki and Hisoka will help since it's similure to something they have experienced." Saying nothing further he took his seat at the front of the room, next to Watari. Who acted like he was mad and paid him no heed. In turn making the brunette sigh.

Giggleing to himself, he sat down in the middle of the room and waited for the meeting to begin.

An hour or so later Tsuzuki and Hisoka finally showed up. Tsuzuki wearing many bandages and Hisoka looking utterly embaressed from, Shuichi counldn't tell, anger or flushed from making out. In that time Tatsumi and Watari had made up and was now discussing baby clothes, and names.

"Well now that you two have finally arrived," He gave them a slightly stern look. "we can start." A screen was rolled down a a slide show showed up. "It seems as though this is the year of suicide, or at least attempts. Wakaba and Terazuma have decided to take most of the cases since they are in the same general area. The only one left is this." A slide came up showing a very familure face. "Yes this is the one and only Eiri Usuegi, Also known as Eiri Yuki." Shuichis heart sank. "He has been showing up on the Kiseki for weeks now. But hasn't seemed to die yet." He looked back to see what everyone was doing, he was just about to finish, when he noticed the slightly hurt look on Shuichi's normally happy face. "Shindo-san?"

"I'm fine. I guess, I just would have never thought he would be the type to do something like this is all. Please continue." He smiled to Tatsumi, hoping it would convince him. It didn't.

Turning off the Slide projector, he went to him and patted his head before giving him a conforting hug. In turn the others came back and did the same. "If you feel like your not ready to take this on you can help Wakaba and Tera..." Shuichi cut him off.

"No... I need... To talk to him anyway..." They all understood and let him go.

After the meeting Shuichi, Tsuzuki, and Hisoka headed out to the cabin he was last reported at. (While Tatsumi and Watari get some alone time 3 ;;hint hint;; )

After arriving they noticed that all the lights were turned out and it looked like not a soul was present. (Yes I know, corney joke --; )  
Tsuzuki teleported inside to see if anyone was home, a sudden scream erupted and the other two went inside to see Tsuzuki saw a mounted deer head and, being from the older days, had never seen such a sight. Shuichi had to laugh.

"Who's there?" A light switch was turned on and, in the doorway, stood Eiri Yuki himself. Skin paler than usual, dark rings under his eyes, and he looked as though he could use a much needed healthy meal. Shuichi litteraly dropped to his knees seeing him like that, forgetting to keep his mind focused on staying invisible.

"Yu... yuki..." Shuichi couldn't help but feel tears run down his cheeks.

"Shu...ichi..." His eyes widened as he walked towrds him, reaching out his hand. "Is it... really you..." He stroked his hair and Shuichi jumped into his arms and sobbed.

Feeling the need to no longer hide themselves they appeared and remained floating. "Mr. Usuegi, we are Shinigami. We've come to take you to the Meifu to be judged..." Hisoka sighed when he noticed they wasn't listening. A few blood veins popped as he felt a head ache arise from the emotions he could feel coming from the two.

"Yuki... I'm sorry... I know it was selfish, but I thought you'd be happier if I ended my own life..." He sobbed harder into the mans chest.

"Shhh it's not your fault. If only I had treated you better..." Yuki stroked the others pink hair, how he missed seeing it. (Okay I know he's all OOC but... Deal with it:P It is a sappy moment :D )

"But... Still... Look at you! Your not healthy anymore, and I bet I made your mental issues worse than ever." Yuki sweatdropped and held the boy tighter.

"You better believe it." He kissed him on the forehead and pulled back some, noticing the other two in the room finally. "May I ask who the hell this is?"

"Oh! Well... umm... you see Yuki when I died I became a Shinigami and well I'm here to retrive your soul and return to the Meifu so you can be judged and...sent...on your way to heaven or hell..."

Okay! Thats all for now! Yes I know critical part and all :P I suck I know I shall get the next chapter after i finish updateing my others some :P R&R Love you all!


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